The pandemic has restricted our mobility and has kept us cooped up in our houses for months now. We all have started getting annoyed, frustrated, and angered with the family members living with us, especially now, because we no longer have excuses to leave home and leave the situation unaddressed. Moreover, our mothers leave no stone unturned when it comes to blaming, criticizing, or scolding us.
How to address the issue without compromising your relationship
So, “what do you do when you are mad at your mom?” Here are a few practices you can adopt for when you are mad at your mom.
1. Step away from the situation:
If you feel you are getting angered or frustrated with your mom, whether it is your fault or not, step away from the argument. Tell your mother to give you some time and that you will get back to this conversation in a while.
2. Calm yourself down.
You can take a long walk, go on a drive, get something to eat or cook, bake, doodle, paint, exercise, or even take a long bath with some calming and soothing music.
3. Reevaluate the situation.
Firstly, try to remember why the argument started, think about what you may have done wrong and what she may have done wrong, and what led to this heightened argument.
4. Try to understand where she is coming from.
When you are mad at your mom, your emotions take over you and it is often very difficult to try to empathize with someone or put yourself in their place. As difficult as this may sound, try to understand why she may have reacted or responded the way she did.
5. Write it down on a piece of paper or in your journal.
Often, when you keep a discussion to be carried on later, you forget certain points you may have wanted to address to your mother. Writing it down will help you not only get a clear understanding of what has happened but will also help you remember what exactly you wanted to convey to her. You may throw away the paper or burn it once things are solved, if you are worried someone may see it.
6. Talk to someone about it:
Speak to someone in your family or call a friend and talk to them about the situation. They might help you to show different perspectives of the situation or can tell you how they may have dealt with a similar situation previously.
7. Get back to your mom.
Tell her how you felt, why you acted the way you did, how she instigated the anger, and most importantly, apologize if you said anything mean or hurtful. Listen to her as well, listen to what she has to say about how she felt. You can use the notes you made in your journal during the discussion with her Communicate how you both could have done things differently.
8. Identify a solution:
Both of you could get together and work out a way as to how the situation should be dealt with in the future as a mom and child relationship is shared for life and compromising such a relationship over minor arguments is undesirable.
Getting mad at your mom is not a one-time thing, it is something that is likely to happen on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. Hence, the sooner you practice these steps, the faster you can mend your relationship with her and reduce the frequency of questioning “what to do when I’m angry with my mom?”
Do check what to do & not do when you are having an heated argument with your partner.